


do not mourn me for i am not gone

by Kniferey



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, annabelle cane is there for like a paragraph and thats it, fuck that stinky little man i hate him, in this house we ignore jonah magnus and leave how they stopped the apocalypse as vague as possible, jon dies but not really, kind of a happy ending?, lowkey kinda vague its okay tho, no beta we die like men, post 160, same with georgie melanie basira and the admiral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22664128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kniferey/pseuds/Kniferey
Summary: After the beginning of the end, Martin only got to see Jon a few times.When the apocalypse ended, there was no fanfare, no giant explosion in the sky for everyone to see. Instead, there was a light breeze that carried away the man that had once broken the world.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 16
Kudos: 100





	do not mourn me for i am not gone

After the beginning of the end, Martin only got to see Jon a few times.

Sure, he traveled with The Archive for months but he wasn’t the same man Martin had gone to Scotland with. He wasn’t the same man that threw himself into the Buried to save Daisy, the man who tore Gerry’s page, the man who pulled Martin out of the Lonely.

No, this man was different. That isn’t to say that The Archive never would have done that, but that it would’ve done it for all the wrong reasons. It would’ve been doing it to learn, to satisfy that curiosity deep within its soul - or, what it had left of it. But maybe it wouldn’t have done any of that at all.

The Archive was omniscient. It had no reason to look for answers or ask questions because it already knew everything. Martin and Jon pretended not to know. They searched for another way, for another answer that they already knew didn’t exist. 

For months they went around, searching for avatars that might have answers to their questions. Some attacked them on sight. Some gladly sat down and told them what The Archive already knew. Some avoided them completely. In the end, it was Annabelle Cane that forced them to accept what they already knew.

“The Mother likes the both of you,” She told them, “So I will tell you this much, Jon,” and it was the first time anyone other than Martin called him anything but Archive.

“You already know what to do. You’ve known this entire time, and your stalling is only causing the rest of us to suffer. You sacrificed so much to save people, and yet here you hesitate, looking for a third option, one that doesn’t exist.” She shrugged. “But what do I know, maybe you will find one. In the time it takes you to do that though, how many more will have to die?”

That was enough for Jon. With those few words, the shortest conversation he had with any avatar that didn’t want to outright kill him, he knew what he had to do. The Archive didn’t need to be convinced, it understood just as well. It had been waiting for this moment since the start, knowing how it would all end. 

There were just a few times during the apocalypse that Martin saw Jon. Right when it started, the panic, the fear, the regret, those were all Jon. A few weeks later, fighting to protect Martin from other avatars. Occasionally, when they slept side by side on the cold, hard ground, exchanging soft looks kept as private as possible in a world that doesn’t know secrets. When Jon finally made his choice.

It wasn’t often that Martin didn’t want to help others. It wasn’t as if Jon was the only one making sacrifices for other people. For once though, Martin was filled with the overwhelming desire to be selfish. He didn’t want to let Jon go, not after everything they’d been through.

It didn’t matter.

When the apocalypse ended, there was no fanfare, no giant explosion in the sky for everyone to see. Instead, there was a light breeze that carried away the man that had once broken the world. A breeze that intensified after he was gone. It was warm, and it was felt by every living being, and it wiped the tears of the Archive’s love away, reassuring him that the man he loved wasn’t gone.

Everything had gone back to normal gradually after that. Martin hadn’t noticed at first, still grieving, but with that second breeze, Jon had swept away the constant feeling of being watched. When he did notice, it was like a weight that he forgot was even there was lifted. It was a feeling so foreign and yet so familiar and it was almost a relief, if not for the fact that he kind of missed it - He missed Jon, and being Known by Jon.

The feeling didn’t last for too long.

Months later, Martin sat in a small cafe and sat next to the open window in the back corner, watching the people passing by and feeling like an outsider. Feeling like he didn’t belong. Feeling Lonely. And then suddenly, for a single moment as a soft breeze knocked his small pile of napkins to the ground, he felt Seen once again. 

Martin lifted his head, searching and scanning the cafe for a familiar face, scarred and beautiful and his. Not seeing one, he ran outside into the city street. There were many people here, but none of them was the one he was looking for. He was surrounded by others, but he felt alone once more. And then he felt it again. A soft breeze, followed by the feeling of being Watched.

That night when he got home, Martin opened a window and spoke to the starlit night. He spoke to the eye that he had thought was no longer there. He was Seen, and he realized that the eye never left, it was just replaced by someone more benevolent. Someone who did not wish to pry, to see everyone’s secrets. 

The Archive was dead, the Eye was gone, but Jon lived on.

The others said they felt it too.

When Basira mourned Daisy on a cold winter night, standing over her grave and allowing herself to cry into her scarf. When The Admiral spent the night meowing loudly, pawing at Melanie and Georgie’s legs, begging to be held, feeling just as distraught as the two of them. They all felt him watching. It never felt invasive or wrong like it used to. Instead, it was the feeling of being understood by a close friend when no one else did. It was comforting.

It was the feeling of being known and being loved. It was a feeling that was gifted to the world in subtle ways, in things that could be interpreted as guesses and coincidences, or maybe even as leftovers from a world that once knew all.

So when the world was put back together and the end turned out to be nothing more than the beginning, Martin no longer saw Jon, but he felt him there, guiding him and the rest of the world towards a softer, kinder place. He felt Jon in the way he now suddenly Knew how someone liked their tea. He felt Jon when he Knew exactly what to say to comfort somebody. Most of all, whenever he started to feel Lonely again, he felt Jon watching, reassuring him, letting him know that he was no longer Alone.

Letting him know that he was loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up at 4 am suddenly inspired to write. This is the result. Thank you for reading tho, ily!!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


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